14 April 2005

Fahrenheit 87

That was a totally uncreative title to this post. I wanted to do a quick blurb on how ridiculously poor the climate control is on the fourth floor of our "modern" law school building (it was built in '96 for crying out loud! And not 1896, but 1996. I think HVAC technology was fairly advanced by that point). I was feeling rather flip for my evening class tonight anyways--flip meaning I lose that little barrier in my brain that prevents me from being a total smartass--and so, while doing the class evaluations for Professor Jacobs (who is AWESOME--seriously, an outstanding professor and human being), I discussed with the girl next to me the need for a classroom evaluation. She almost passed out (heat + laughter = not good), so I thought I'd share.

[I realize this is borrowing format somewhat from someone else's blog, you know who you are, and sorry in advance for that]

Please fill out the following survey. Dishonesty is strongly encouraged, since we don't even want our own bureaucrats knowing how you've suffered. Comments will not be read, but feel free to include them, since the time taken to write them eats into precious minutes of class time you've paid for.

(1) To what extent did the classroom contribute to your learning?
To the extent I skirted the edges of suffering a heat-induced aneurysm, and avoided passing out from the pungent aroma of my peers after 100 minutes. Note to girl in front of me: lavendar body lotion does not prevent me from figuring out you just came from the gym.

(2) To what extent did the technology in the classroom enhance your learning?
Enhance? Well, being able to IM is nice. Worrying about dying of electrical shock because my hands are literally dripping wet while typing from the unbearable heat? Not so nice.

(3) Was any element of the classroom environment distracting?
During the winter, no: I was able to focus on IMing and typing useless emails. As soon as it hit 70 degrees outside and the heat was still going on, many things were distracting: the professor's pit stains, the radii of which would be best captured with an exponential function; the various states of undress of classmatets who should not be in states of undress; my own state of undress; the fact that I became delusional and befriended an imaginary life-size Furbie in the empty seat next to me(although he was great about sharing notes); the fact that I had to drink the equivalent of two Big Gulps to avoid dehydration but couldn't afford to leave to use the bathroom because the professor talks so fast. Having your bladder explode is not as painful as you'd think. Loud and annoying, but no worse than a cell phone going off.

(4) What would you like to see added to the classroom, within reason?
Do you really want me to go there? This could take a while. Any view of the outside world would be nice (this is not a casino, last time I checked). In lieu of that, a mural of a happy forest. Think Bambi. Think woodland sprites. That, or a depiction of a Bacchanalian orgy, since by the last ten minutes we all looked like we must have participated in one. See references to EXTREME HEAT in above answers for more on this. And since it feels like we're in the equivalent of the Biosphere's rainforest zone, let's go all the way and get some waterfalls and poisonous tree frogs. And yes, I consider this all "within reason."

(5) Were you regularly prepared for the classroom?
Well, as prepared as anyone can be for staying in a sweltering death hole. My time in that Georgia penitentiary helped.

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