02 April 2005

The Great Side Dish Personality Evaluation

I feel guilty posting another entry about food, because computers cause munchies anyway, and now I'm exacerbating the problem. Sorry to put you in a pickle...(haha)

Anyhoo, enjoy the following waste of time, whether you're a foodie or not. I hope it's enlightening for you.

Instructions: Please select the side dish that you feel most represent you, then read the corresponding explanation provided below. (If you need help choosing a side dish, simply ask a friend to choose for you. Then again, if you need help with something like this, you probably don't have any friends.)

Baked Potato
Mashed Potato
French Fries
Pork & Beans
Soup
Dinner Roll
Cole Slaw
Salad
Cottage Cheese
Fruit Cup

Baked Potato--You're only worthwhile in late afternoons. Everything good about you is piled on the surface, and isn't really the essence of who you are. When people do get to know the real you, they're usually disppointed, but they keep coming back anyways, and even you don't understand your appeal. Your appearance is kind of nasty. Generally, a good scrubbing helps. You look best in silver or gold. People of Irish descent are drawn to you for some some reason.

Mashed Potato--Ditto on the Irish thing. You get along well with babies and the elderly in particular. You can take hours of abuse, and still come out no worse for wear. While others steal the spotlight, you prefer blending into the background, although you do make a decent first impression. You've been known to wear out your welcome in long term relationships, though.

French Fries--While you're thin and attractive, all your friends suffer from obesity. You also play well with others, but are just as likely to be enjoyed for your own unique qualities. You tend to leave your mark wherever you go. Increasing your salt intake may be bad for your health, but trust me, it will make you a better person. You find yourself constantly drawn to the color red.

Pork & Beans--You're enjoyed in private but generally shunned in public, though you seem to do well where others would fail (like at church picnics). While a relationship with you is often a fabulous experience in the short term, people find themselves in pain afterward, and avoid others until you're out of their system.

Soup--You're all screwed up. With you, it's anyone's guess what you might be like. Unable to maintain a consistent quality, you're destined for a lifetime of love-hate relationships.

Dinner Roll--Could you be anymore boring? It seems you're invited to everything, but are always the one left behind at the end. And it's not that you really make an effort. You just...sit there, looking full of potential, only to disappoint in the end.

Cole Slaw--You move through people faster than you should. Anyone who endeavors to get to know you wil quickly find that you're risky business.

Salad--Everyone loves you, and it's doubtful your popularity will ever diminish. Even when loaded down with emotional baggage, you still find success. All your friends are skinny.

Cottage Cheese--I don't care how many people like you. I won't. You're probably that nasty guy or girl in college that everyone hooks up with at a party at least once out of sheer curiosity. Sorry.

Fruit Cup--Women love you. Men find you disturbing. This will never change, so just stay your sweet self and quit worrying.

But Mr. Man, I don't identify with any of the side dishes on the list!--
I'm terribly sorry. Please write yours in the following blank _________________. Here's your custom evaluation: get a life. Kick yourself for taking a personality quiz in the first place. Now do it again for comparing yourself to food.

I'm a "baked potato" and find your comments offensive--
I'm terribly sorry. Wait...you're a sentient baked potato!!!! Oh my God!

I'm "cottage cheese" and find your comments offensive--
Yeah, but you know deep down I'm right.

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