25 April 2005

Top Ten Ways to Tell Exams Are Coming...

(10) That guy who IM'd and played TextTwist during the whole first year and barely passed has now moved to the library to...IM and play TextTwist (what matters is that it feels productive, we all know that)

(9) The fourth floor lounge area is now a shantytown of pup tents. It smells like someone tried to roast some small game (well, it always sort of smells like that)...

(8) The Student Mental Health Society's membership is ballooning

(7) A group of 1Ls has begun praying to an ancient Mayan god of wisdom, and are looking for a sacrificial virgin. Yeah....good luck with that!

(6) The drinking fountains now serve Jolt and Red Bull.

(5a) For ladies needing a sugar fix, a Pez dispenser dispenser has replaced the tampon dispenser in the women's restroom. Too bad no one put up a notice about that first...

(5b) For ladies needing a "sugar" fix, I will be in library study room 5 all day tomorrow. [Bring a healthy dose of optimism.]

(4) A misplaced period on the school-wide exam instructions resulted in this: "Bring plenty of Number Two. Pencils." Students were seen in the cat and dog park yesterday with pooper scoopers. (ok, that was just bad :)

(5) Just wanted to see if you were paying attention...

(3) Stall Two in the third floor bathroom has the entire Gilbert's Outline for Contracts written on a wall but disguised as graffiti (example: We promis(sory estoppel) a good time! Call Ricketts (v. Scothorn), or Greiner! Amazingly, no one has caught on to this.

(2) You can only get in Stall Three of the same restroom with a pass and $20. A guy who looks too much like Gollum (and keeps saying "precious," which is just creepy), can answer any question about anything. [So that's what happened to that one guy who didn't have a good relationship with career services. Duly noted.]

(1) The gunners have hooked themselves up to IVs and catheters (available at Starbucks).

Well, that was a good use of the last 15 minutes. Back to studying...


Post a Comment

<< Home